Having depression makes me very tired sometimes. Sometimes I can barely drag myself out of bed. 'Normal' things take lots of energy, mentally and physically, meaning I'm nearly always tired. People think I'm lazy. Sometimes I think I am, but I'm not sure how to tell. Today has been a strange day. I had the first good night's sleep in 2 weeks- the cats went to bed shut in downstairs, and I slept from 10.30-5, then again til 8. I usually wake 3-4 times in the night, for the loo, or waking up from bad dreams with a jolt, sweating, then going back to sleep.
I managed not to fall asleep at work- I actually have some work to do now, which is good -and came home and showered asap. I think this tricked my brain, because after that I managed to clean the cat litter tray, feed the cats, put plates in the dishwasher, put clothes in the washer and feed myself something. This is normally a big thing if it gets accomplished in a day, not an hour and a half.
Then I decided, as always, I Need Some Money. Learning to drive isn't cheap, and if I really want to be a Driver, I need to save up for a car. My theory test is in a month. So I looked at the sad-looking lonely pile of jewellery I made around Christmas-time. Maybe it's just me, but I think having depression makes everything take longer. I make jewellery and crafty things then decide it's all rubbish and should be hidden away, lest anyone know of the 'things' that my brain has produced. Then a little part of me pips up that maybe it's actually quite pretty, and I should put some pictures on my blog so people can see what I enjoy doing. If just one person sees them and smiles, it makes me feel happy.
Et voila...
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